I feel like someone pressed the fast forward button on my life on March 23rd, my 25th birthday. So much has happened since then!
Since then, the following has occured:
I signed up for the Portland Marathon this coming October! I’m excited to get to training this summer :). This will be second full marathon, and I’m still sort of in shock that I have already completed one!
We are going to be homeowners! I can’t believe it. :). We found a really great home right on the northwest edge of town. It’s a modest one-story 3 bed, 2 bath on a cul-de-sac. It has a great front yard and fairly large fenced backyard with a big covered porch. with just a little TLC (taking out the carpet and replacing with vinyl flooring, painting the walls, and redoing the god-awful bathroom tile) it is going to be just perfect for us :).
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless. Closing on a house is extremely scary for me. I have moved living quarters every single year since I was a freshman in college (7 years ago). Even as a kid I moved around a lot, living in 2 different houses in Seattle, an apartment and a duplex in Wichita, and 2 different apartments in Portland. All I can say from the bottom of my heart is that to be a home owner and plant down roots in that context is really fulfilling a dream for me. I have been craving that sort of stability since I was a very little girl.
And here I sit, closing on a home, puppy in tow, doing arguably the most adult things thus far in my life, and I feel like my child-self. On one hand, I am so excited to be running on country roads (2 miles east of the horse stables, 2 miles south of the pumpkin patch), feeling the peacefulness and solitude of living surrounded by nature, orchards, and farms, and shopping for groceries directly at the farm. On the other hand I am terrified. What if I will feel too isolated? What if I miss the convenience of living right near downtown and the University? (it’s only a 15 minute drive in reality- but that feels really far given our current location). What if the neighbors don’t like us? I have at least a dozen more what ifs.
But when I really listen to my heart of hearts, I here myself saying “yes”. I think this home could be the answer to some of my inner most prayers. I feel like I am watching a movie of my dreams unfold, and I am having trouble processing everything. I think overwhelmed is the best way to describe my current state of mind.
OK, I think I have said everything I needed to say.
Overwhelmed, Overjoyed, and Scared Shitless.
P.S. Someone pinch me, please.